Officership

Alright, lets see... maybe i should blog on what happened over these few days?? but nothing really happened this couple of days except that i was fighting a war at home and also another one in camp lar...
haha... oh well.. but they are over le la so... nvm la....
Seriously, i am not at all pleased with how my battalion is being runned la... every freaking last minute will change this and that la... Seriously coming into this battalion has really made me lost it la... i totally lost the desire to carry on and fighting spirit to fuck whatever that gets in my way la... I was prepared to deal with problems of officership.. but wasnt prepared for such major screw ups... Ya, maybe its the same everywhere la... but just let me bitch lar... i've been thinking hard, where have i left the desire to lead men into battlefield, changing them into better people and touching their lives with my actions.
I have been searching for it for awhile la... it is there somewhere la, i had so much desire to become a regular in the SAF due to those factors, but now, i realise how powerful losing faith can be...
Hopefully the answers i seek come to me swiftly and hopefully when answers appears, my decisions will be the right one.